poetry submission

I'm lost to myself right now
  sitting down to write, wondering why it matters
      why put forth the effort?
    yes, yes... this is an outlet for obsessive thinking
      but right now, the mind wants to sleep
        yet these fingers remain active
        writing these words of their own design
          -a sort of doodling touching on diligence
decisions come with more resistance than questions
  and with new decisions made,
    I'm left feeling drained
      and maybe even fulfilled
    touched by the promise of new things thrust into motion,
      I just want to sit back and observe for a while
        to let life live itself through me
          while pretending that I'm really here
I'll let you read of and into me,
  but sometimes I'm harder to reach than you'd imagine
    -sometimes I barely am