Thursday, March 03, 2005

astounded but not speechless: Bobblehead

I'm terribly fortunate today. I had nothing planned to write about, but went to the cafeteria armed with pen and paper anyway. Completely devoid of inspiration, I sat at the smallest empty table in the room, and it just so happened that Bobblehead was sitting at a table diagonal from me.

He was sitting at an otherwise empty table, doing that split-second 'nod off' thing where you fall asleep, your head falls back, and you wake up right before it crashes into the wall behind you. In this case, it wasn't a wall, but a large window; he just left, and there are no glass shards lodged into his skull. Damn. I just thought that this was too fucking perfect though - he was doing that falling asleep head bobbing thing that we've all done, but I had already given him his nickname for other reasons. Satan's blessings come to me daily; thanks bud, I owe you one.

Bobblehead works on my floor, and is quite obese. I believe that he has a medical condition, and the pain that he feels in even the slightest movement is visible; it's sad. He doesn't even speak in a normal way, he has this quiet yell that he does - even talking requires a good deal of exerted energy. He doesn't seem to be all that bright, although I think that the pain involved in speaking outweighs the desire to impress his co-workers. I've only heard him speak once when it wasn't required of him; he was having a conversation about God and faith - your normal 'my life is going to get better' shit. I really do feel sorry for him.

As you can imagine, walking is very difficult for him. Sadly, his job requires him to walk around a good bit. Most people don't think about walking; when he walks, it looks like every movement is intentional. It's like he's concentrating so hard on getting each step right. I may just be witnessing him trying to ignore the pain. His whole body pivots with each step, as his weight is carefully shifted over to his forwardly positioned leg.

I named him Bobblehead because when he turns his body, his head turns toward his intended direction first. When he turns his head, it doesn't just turn, but it rolls into its new position. It looks like his head isn't really attached to his body, but is more floating in a bowl of water. It's unnatural when he does that head turning shit, and it freaks me out. That fucker.