Sunday, March 06, 2005

mama's boy

I just caught myself speaking to a car that was honking outside my window. He was holding the horn down, which is really loud and distracting for those of us who happen to live in these cozy luxury apartments. Anyway, after about three seconds of that guy sitting on the horn, I caught myself saying, "Please stop that."

It's funny... I'm here alone in my apartment, talking to a driver of a car who can't hear me, and I can still feel my Mom's parenting coming into play. Right as I finished saying my request aloud, it was like I could feel her watching me... waiting for me to finish the sentence. This is still ingrained in me from when I was very little... when I'd want something, and I'd request it, she'd sit there tapping her foot, waiting for me to show some manners and to finish the request off appropriately. The 'please' was in there, but that's only part of it.

I finished off with, "... before I fucking kill you?" I could then feel my Mom's nagging presence go away. That crazy old bitch.