Friday, June 17, 2005

rand the hatchet #5

Paul walked past the row of cubicles, to a small section of wall that separated two large windows. He wasn't trying to hide the plaque that he was holding... he really enjoyed the attention that he got when things like this happened, but he tried not to be too obvious either. Sometimes it's better to make people ask.

"What's that, Paul?" Mary was the first one to speak out.
Paul didn't notice that his posture straightened slightly, "Oh, the company made this plaque for Mr. Hatchet. I thought that this would be a nice place for it."
Mary got up from her seat and came closer to Paul. "That's a great spot for it. Nice work, Paul."

Being unable to restrain himself from joining any conversation in his presence, John spoke up, "So the Hatchet's getting a plaque? It's about time."
"It's really amazing to see what he's doing around here," Mary said.
Paul was too busy making pencil marks on the wall to respond, but luckily John was there to hold the conversation together. "It really is... did you know that Matthew was just fired last week?"
Mary smiled, "Really? So that's why I haven't seen him!"
"The Hatchet's really taking them out fast," said John.
Pausing a second to do a little bit of math in her mind, Mary replied, "Yeah, he sure is!"

Peter and Judas were coming back from the snack machine when they saw Paul trying to measure the distance from the floor to the ceiling.
"Another inspirational poster, Paul?" Judas asked.
Knowing that Paul was busy, Mary answered, "Rand the Hatchet got a plaque. Isn't it wonderful?"
Judas smiled in relief, "Thank Jesus, that's much better than those damned posters! Good for Mr. Hatchet, he deserves a plaque."
Peter was distracted with his low-fat Twinkie, but if he'd been listening, he'd have agreed wholeheartedly.

With the nail in place, Paul lifted the plaque up and began trying to hang it properly.
"Hey Mary," Joseph said as he hustled up, "I have a letter for you."
Taking the letter from Joseph, Mary quickly opened it so that everyone could see what it was. "Well fuck me, Jesus!"
"What is it, Mary?" John asked with excitement.
"The Hatchet just automated my job. I've been fired!" Mary shook her head and smiled.
Joseph grinned, "I knew it was something like that! How does he do it?"
"I don't know," said Mary. "It's just an amazing time to be working here.... or well, it was while I still worked here!"
The whole group laughed with Mary.
Still focused on his work, Paul stepped a few feet back from the wall and said, "How's that?"
Everyone looked at the plaque fondly, and Mary put her arm around Paul. "It's perfect, Paul... just perfect."