Thursday, June 09, 2005

through a child's eyes #10

"I'm not going to tell you again. Cover your mouth when you sneeze!"
Ignoring his father, Jason slid an apple wedge across the tray of his highchair.
Jason's mother looked at her husband, "He's too young to learn that."
"I just can't tolerate bad table manners."
Jason removed the apple wedge from his mouth as his face began to scrunch up.
"Cover your mouth this tim..."
Jason's sneeze was forceful enough to spray half the table with apple-flavored saliva.
His father stood up in a rage. "You did that to provoke me!"

"Normally, this wouldn't need more than a couple stitches, but babies' skulls are very soft." Dr. Steinman pointed at the x-ray, "The fork pierced his brain right here."
Jason's mother looked a little concerned. "Is it serious?"
"No, no... the damage was confined to a part of the brain that dictates behavior. At the very worst, your boy will display homicidal tendencies."
Jason's father asked, "Is there a possibility that he might end up hurting us?"
Dr. Steinman removed his glasses and looked intently at Jason's parents.

"Then what did you say, Grandpa?"
Dr. Steinman smirked; this was his favorite part. "I said, 'No, Jason will be fine - I'd be more concerned about me... I tend to put hits out on people who don't pay their doctor bills.'"
"You didn't really say that."
He sadly replied, "No... I didn't." The truth was that pediatricians' lives are quite dull.
Knowing that he had lost his grandson's respect, Dr. Steinman cut the little fucker out of his will.