I really wish this was pissing me off

I'm heading to Philadelphia later today to see my cousin's new house. I figured I'd wake up, let a caffeine headache build up a bit, and just sit here and write something before starting my day. I try not to put too much effort into these weekend posts, because you fucks only seem to pay attention during the week, but I wanted to at least write something; I believe that I even had a topic in mind last night before I went to bed.

But there's a problem.... I woke up in a good mood. I know... what the fuck is going on here... what in the world is there to be happy about, right? I don't know.. but this just gives me nothing to write about beyond the analysis of this simple thing that most take for granted. If I was you, right now, I'd be skipping through the fields, trying to figure out what the shapes of the clouds above me remind me of... but I don't do those things.. this mood is fucking up all my daily plans. I had even just started working on a new song... if I worked on it now, it'd turn out so happy that I'd hate myself later; hmm... maybe I should do that so that the next time that I wake up in a good mood, I'll have something to pull me back down again. "Listen to this song, you fuck.. what the hell were you thinking?"

The day is pretty much going to be a waste anyway. I have to be ready to head out by 3:00 PM, and will be with my brother on a bus for two hours, and then around my cousin and a bunch of strangers until this time tomorrow. I'm learning to do the whole 'social thing' these days... it's one of my projects, but it competes to some degree with my other pursuits. I'm already far along enough with learning to appreciate spending time with other humans that it's not bothering me, but I wanted to be extra productive this morning to make up for it. Oh well... I guess being happy and useless will make me fit in more with the crowd... what the fuck.. I'm looking at the bright side of things now?

Okay.. here comes the headache... I love how it motivates me into action. I better go take a shower, get dressed, meditate, not touch my guitar, and grab some coffee. That will leave just enough time to run outside, spin around on the sidewalk with my arms extended, smile bright while looking up at the sun, and cry, "Hello, wonderful world!" I guess after that point, I'll frolic or do whatever it is that happy people are socially expected to do.