fourth of july

I had just finished my speech on the wonders of democracy. A little overwhelmed by the gratuitous applause, I made my way back to my seat.

Senator Jacobs congratulated me by putting a sweaty hand on my back, and pulled my chair out for me. I looked him in the eyes and said, "Jacobs." I think he took my meaning; he had to - there was no escaping it.

My girlfriend and the rest of the table smiled as I sat down. Clooney looked like he was about to speak, but this wasn't the time or place.... it wasn't then, and isn't now. Don't you ever forget that.

"What an inspiring speech, Rand." Hartford, you kiss-ass. "I especially liked the part about human rights being a privelege, not a right."
I looked down my nose at him. "Yes, my mother-in-law always says that when..."
"Oh, my god!" Hartford turned excitedly to my girlfriend, "You two got married?!"
Of course, my girlfriend started crying.
I slammed my glass down. "Do you really think I'd take my wife to this shim-sham?!" I'll bet you can't answer that one, can you, Hartford?

I heard my name called over the loud speaker. I put my face in my hands and said, "Oh god, here we go again," but God wasn't listening. Nobody ever does.