Thursday, January 06, 2005

staring at strangers

Sometimes, I stare at strangers. I do this partially to entertain myself, and partially to understand humanity better. Closely observing a person's reactions to a prolonged awkward situation can be very revealing, and when you stare at them blatantly, you're both observing their reactions and creating that awkwardness. I have to be in the right mood to do this successfully... I have to be detached to a certain degree, as if I'm not really living my life, but watching it as if it's a movie that I'm loosely participating with. I tend to only do this with females, so that I don't get thought a homosexual, resulting in being beat up, or worse... fondled. Females are more interesting to observe anyway... I have a clearer understanding of the male psyche... there's always more to learn about females'.

Every now and then, I'll catch myself staring at someone, without first putting myself into that necessary state... in this case, the whole thing backfires. I'll stare at someone, she'll stare back, and I'll have an emotional response... discomfort, attraction, embarrassment, etc... anything like that means that I forgot to do the proper preparation; the spacey observer should be impartial. When this happens, there's a 'plan B' that I have to regain my composure. What I do is frown slightly to imply my disapproval of the other's existence... simple and effective. Here's what accompanies it in my mind:

In an old, stuffy, English accent, "This one displeases us. It simply will not do. Bring us another. Don't you 'but Your Highness' us! Never question our judgment!!! Now, bring us a new one... we dislike this one."

"That man over there can't take his eyes off me. Men look all the time, but this one's staring so deeply into me... it reminds me of the way that my husband used to look at me when we were young. Oh, look... he just indicated something to me subtly... it looked like a slight frown, but if that was the case, he would have averted his eyes. It must have been a smile! He's much younger than me, but I'll bet that he's an energetic lover. He's actually very cute, and there's a dark quality about him that I'm intrigued by... it's so unusual for a person to just stare at a woman without any inhibition. My husband won't be home until late tonight... perhaps if I just reached over and touched his leg..."

"GUARDS!!!! It's looking at us... directly at our face! How dare it! Take it away, now!!"