Saturday, February 12, 2005

what if?

This was inspired by an article by Ruksak.

She's all alone. She thought that starting a family would bring him closer to her - it was so long ago, but she's sure that it was his idea. It seemed like everything was so perfect for a while, but was it? Was he ever truly there by her side, or was it just a manifestation of her hope... this frame of a man, whose mind is always somewhere else... this shell of a husband. Countless years spent trying to lure his attention; countless years wasted.

Amy called yesterday. She's doing well in school, and is seeing someone new. "I think he's the one, Mom."
Tears formed in response to conflicting emotions. "That's wonderful, Dear," she replied with a cracking voice.
"Mom, are you crying?"
She contained herself, "No... no, everything's fine. I'm happy for you."
Amy left the conversation with a familiar feeling of loss, a feeling she can't yet name, but associates with home.

She has her friends; he has his books. She enjoys being with them, but there's only one person she ever wanted. She doesn't know why she can only smile so wide, when it used to be so hard not to smile. "Stop laughing, Nikki; this isn't funny," words that echoed through her youth, but now it takes so much energy to laugh. She's just too tired - her friends know this, she's starting to realize it, and he never noticed at all.